This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
