We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
