the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
