Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
