Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
