You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
