We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
