Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
