hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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