Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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