that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
