Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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