Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
