omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
