Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
