Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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