Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
