Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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