And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
