Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
