The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
