So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
