I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
MIDGETS
????
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
