I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you never un-have a 4some
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
