That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
