I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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