I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Another day, another engagement, another cat
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
