So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
