every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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