his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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