Is it because I queefed?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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