I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
