I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
