Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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