Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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