My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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