i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize