By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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