Got a toothbrush?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
