Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her facebook's as public as her vagina
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize