I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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