My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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