i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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