she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
