We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
