I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
