I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
