My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
