Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Floor bacon is actually really good
My vagina is very pro this idea
You don't make any sense
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