I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
