Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
