69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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