I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're too hungover to prance.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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