i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
