I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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