like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
