I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drake has all the answers
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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